


Fall

by mini_rini



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Help, Suicide, big big baby cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4077436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mini_rini/pseuds/mini_rini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joonmyun finds the dizzying rush exhilarating, as he stands on the top of his school building and feels the wind in his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall

**Author's Note:**

> hue hue hue

Joonmyun finds the dizzying rush exhilarating, as he stands on the top of his school building and feels the wind in his face. His hands are clammy and his knees are shaking, but he figures he has to make sure that he can really do it; that he won’t chicken out at the last minute.

He isn’t sure when the fear started; all he knows is that when Kai and Sehun drag him up to the roof and haul him over the edge, his vision starts to swim and nausea slowly takes over his system. A few punches to the gut later, he falls to his knees and throws up.

He hates it; hates the feeling of being powerless against the rush of fear when he sees himself high above the ground, with nowhere to grasp onto if he falls. Joonmyun’s seat in the classroom on the fourth storey is right beside the window, and nobody is willing to switch with him even though they know; know of his numbing fear. The weakling, always getting picked on by others. His classmates are afraid that the treatment he suffers at the duo’s hands will extend to themselves if they relieve him of just one of his many burdens.

When his grades start to drop, his parents hold their silence, only looking at him with sad eyes. He doesn’t want their silent, detached pity; he wants them to do something. Anything. Scream at him, beat him...anything except the passive silence which greets him when he returns from school, clutching his report, adorned with C’s and D’s. It covers Joonmyun like a blanket of oppression, swathing him in gloom in the stead of the showers of love which is given to any other kid.

He wonders whether it is because he isn’t normal, the kind of “normal” society expects him to be. He knows that he was, is, different, but he didn’t realize how wrong it was to be so. Looking back, he knows he shouldn’t have confessed, shouldn’t have said the three fatal words, I love you, but he hadn’t been thinking of the consequences that day. He had only thought of the fairy tale endings, the happily-ever-afters, and had ignored the little seeds of doubt in his mind, thinking that nothing could possibly go wrong. He wishes he could reverse time, go back to that day, change it.

\---------

_A blushing Joonmyun stands in front of Kai, a letter clutched in his trembling hands._

__

_“J-Jongin-ssi, I think….I think I may be in love with you. So, will you accept this?”_

__

_Kai looks coldly at the shorter boy._

__

_“Freak.”_

\------------

He thinks that they won’t miss him. Nobody will realize that there is one less person in his class, one less child in the school, one less son sitting at the dinner table. Because all that’s left of him is a shell. A heartless boy, with nobody to love and to be loved by. A soulless boy, who has learned not to care. A faceless, emotionless boy. A ghost, almost.

  
**To overcome your fear, you must face it. He wants to do at least one thing right in this lifetime. How ironic that it would be the last. And so, taking a deep breath, he jumps.**

**Author's Note:**

> oops??


End file.
